http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:yumeusa&section=today deviantART RSS for by:yumeusa en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:14:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/21845926/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/21845926/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:27:53 PST
I am also going out of my mind, a little, though. Oh, finals. I FINALLY FINISHED GLAZING! WOO! But I still have my big ass self portrait to finish for Tuesday morning, a little self portrait to do for Wednesday, a short paper (since I've done my final now) for Monday, and a book project, that I love but is very time consuming, for Thursday. It's lots, even though it might not sound like it because the large self portrait will take me HOURS to finish, and the book--- each page takes me hours, and I still have a number of pages to go and then I have to make covers and bind the thing. It's crazy but I love it.

Art school is bootifur.

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/20678005/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/20678005/ Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:50:35 PDT
I love MassArt.


My roommate seems hell bent on reverting me back to the impossibly depressed, bed-ridden pile of goo I was for the better part of six months junior year.

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/20174610/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/20174610/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:25:23 PDT M. (AMP it up!... yes, I am a dork)

199. I was born on:
May 19

198. I am really:
stretched.

197. My cell phone company is:
verizon

196. My eye color is:
green/hazel

194. My ring size is:
uh... 8? 9? Somthin like that

193. My height is:
5' 3"

192. I am allergic to:
wool, onion family

191. I was born in:
Cali

190. I live in:
MA

189. Last book you read:
and finished? I'm in the middle of like 6 books right now >__< Ummm... I think Handmaid's Tale.

188. My bed is:
bloody and sheetless right now. Woohoo TMI!

187: One thing you hate about yourself:
fat

179. My favorite holiday is:
Halloween, anything with cake

178. The perfect kiss is:
head holding and chaste, top of head while embracing, or corner of the mouth.

173. Do you like being single/taken?
haha, I don't know. I haven't really experienced one (guess which)

170. What did you do yesterday?:
computer shit, installing stuff and all, some packing, tried to catch up on some sleep

:::I Do (YES)/Do Not (NO) Believe In:::

142. Love at first sight?
no. Attraction, infatuation, connection, and joy sure. Not love love though.

141. Luck?
not sure

140. Fate?
not really

139. Yourself?
try to

138. Aliens?
not X-files like, but extra-terrestrial life, sure, who knows?

137. Heaven?
no.

136. Hell?
no.

135. Ghosts?
yes.

134. Horoscopes?
sometimes.

133. Soulmates?
sort of.

:::Which is Better?:::

129. Hugs or Kisses?
depends on the type

128. Drunk or High:
hahahaha, neither. Stoned people are generally less obnoxious to be tuck around than drunk people though.

127. Phone or Online:
online!
UGGA FUCK YOU PHONES

126. Red heads or black haired:
depends on the person it's on

case in point: me with black hair=fucking scary, people with naturally black hair= generally really pretty

kel with red hair, my sister's hair, my sister's inlaws' hair: very nice, people with darker skin with red hair= generally pretty bizarre looking

125. Blondes or Brunettes:
brunettes? I likes my brown hair. Blonde seems too involved. There's all this crap you have to do to maintain it or whatever. I like my low maintenance mud head, thanks.

124. Hot or cold:
cold weather, cold beverage, hot shower, hot meals

123. Summer or winter?
neither! FALL AND SPRING

121. Chocolate or vanilla:
both!

120. Night or day:
night, unless it's really nice weather that day (which has been quite rare for the last like.. year)

119. Oranges or apples?
apples

118. Curly or straight hair:
curly or wazy. Unless it's really short hair, than: straight

:::Here's What I Think About:::

116. Abortion:
Woman's RIGHT! But don't think I could ever do it. Should be last resort, which is something I think just about anyone can agree with. Contraception, yo!

115. Backstabbers:
ick

114. Parents:
UGGGH Not going into this...

:::Last time I:::

103. Kissed someone: like on the cheek? I think on Sat, at my sister's wedding. Like for real? ummm.. 8th grade? Oh wait no! Honey in the hallway in 9th grade. Yup.

102. Had food: hour ago?

101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while: Sat, at my sister's wedding... lots of people!

100. Cried in front of someone: QUITE AWHILE ago, surprisingly enough

99. Grew: haha, a little bit in high school

:::MISC:::

90. Who is the ditziest person you know: Lucy, myself, and Hanna probably

89. Who makes you laugh the most: Mike, Angela, Hanna, Leland, Nate

87. The last movie I saw? Dark Knight.

82. What I don't understand is: um... a lot of stuff.

80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received is: any "I'm too tired" type shit, "It's no big deal", no answer at all, all of that passive stuff

76. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: amchi and doggy

75. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: MOVE IN!!!!!!!!!!

74. The thing that I'm not looking forward to is: the rest of this week until move in.

73. Tomorrow: I have so much shit to do.

72. Today: my head hurts, at work for 8 hours, alarm didn't go off, laundry, no dinner

71. Next Summer: no effin idea... hopefully not here the whole time. I might kill myself.

70. Next Week: COLLLLEEEEGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... ]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19960748/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19960748/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:45:07 PDT
I want school to start.

I should go to sleep.

Oh, yeah, will post more stuff soon... ish.

And will try to find time for that tutorial request.

>.< I am so bad at DeviantArt, people.

Also. HATES the summer. When will it go away?

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19833447/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19833447/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:04:15 PDT

1. Cat is lost, there's been no sign of him for 10 days now

2. Got the bill from my school, and guess what? My mom still hasn't filled out the tuition remission form I gave her three weeks before and now I have four days before I loose my schedule; and my mom's boss, who needs to sign the form, is on vacation. Which she knew was coming for the last three weeks. And I am bad at budgeting my time? Oh that was not stressful at all

3. Found a cheap tablet on Amazon--- dub it one of THE two good things to happen to me this summer (the other being Wall-E) , and now that I already ordered it, it's out of stock and is not going to be restocked.

4. Found large dead frog on the floor of my boss's basement, where I had to package stuff for shipping. I may have stepped on it by accident. Oh fun.

5. Pulled out a collapsed USPS box from the stash under the desk in aforementioned basement and had 30 plus spiders come gushing out after it.
Which led me to a full on panic attack.

6. JESUS CHRIST will it ever stop STORMING??! WTF

7. Contact with friends count: once in three weeks

8. The compact fluorescent bulb in the lamp next to me got struck by lightning, made a fun noise and burnt out in a flash, leaving this lovely burning plastic and mercury smell. Also, scared the crap out of me

9. Mother talking about putting down my dog (who, despite being deaf, blind (and he's been mostly blind his entire life, so that's nothing new) and arthritic, is completely healthy)

10. I still haven't gotten my school email

11. My dad might be taking my mom to court again

12. International shipping

13. Mom is constantly freaking out about Katherine's wedding

14. Mom is constantly freaking out period.

15. Today, finally feeling compelled to do so, I spent three hours cleaning my bathtub, boiling pots of tea, straining out the loose leaves, filling my bathtub, soaking the quilt set I'd been wanting to tea stain for almost a year now, tracking down vinegar, setting the stain, draining the tub, cleaning up the kitchen and bathroom, ringing out the quilts, cleaning the bathtub again, and throwing the quilts in the dryer before I had to go to work, only to return to find that my mom-- who's had nothing to do with my laundry for the last three years, mind you-- pulled the quilts out of the dryer, and, deciding they "smelt funny", threw them into the wash, set to hot, and added bleach.



UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19787338/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19787338/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 09:47:47 PDT
]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19672525/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/19672525/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 01:07:36 PDT
]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/16229260/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/16229260/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 18:27:26 PST
]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/16138302/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/16138302/ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:24:54 PST

Apparently they no longer like traditional media unless its fucking fanart wtf? It won't let me catagorize my work in anything REMOTELY CLOSE TO WHAT IT IS. Acrylic portrait of my sister>>> digital print of naruto. OH YES THAT WORKS WELL. WTF. WTFF.

So I'm gonna wait until DA gets its head out of its ass to upload stuff.

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/16015288/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/16015288/ Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:53:20 PST
BUT THAT WILL CHANGE BY 2008!

That's right, yumeusa version 2.008 will be stronger, faster, and..... have deviations! Woot! I'm taking my digital portolio on Sat. and once everything for that is all done and happy, I'll upload the pictures here, too! This is potentially like 50 things, but some of them are bound to look shitty and I'll probably run out of stream after uploading like 20 so...

But yeah... stuff. Literally. I might put up some writing stuff to...

So all four of you better be looking out for 2.008. 's gonna be za sheet.

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15964037/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15964037/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:38:55 PST

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1.) TRAVEL
2.) Go to college
3.) Sex

Three Names You Go By:
1.) Anne
2.) Annie
3.) thatsexybeastomfgyes....no

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1.) yumeko
2.) chibiyumeko
3.) yumeusa

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1.) Eyes
2.) Sometime boobs...
3.) Lack of penis/balls... Yay!

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1.) Brittish
2.) Scottish
3.) German

Three Things That Scare You:
1.) Big spiders
2.) Sensation of falling
3.) The state of the world...

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1.) Meds
2.) Bra
3.) Ummmm.... water?

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1.) Blue nightgown with paint all over it
2.) tan bra
3.) red pj bottoms with paint all over them

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1.) Tokyo Jihen/ Shiina Ringo
2.) Regina Spektor
3.) Kimya Dawson, Moldy Peaches, Queen, Devandra Banhart, Death Cab for Cutie, Bow Wow Wow, The Grates, Lilly Allen, Three Dog Night, Joanna Newsom, The Ditty Bops, Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, Jackson Browne, etc... so many! I can't narrow it down to three...

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1.) Halleluja
2.) 1234
3.) Music That Puts Everything Together... and like, a million others...

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1.) umm... another person
2.) um... stuff
3.) sex? (shhh)

Two Truths And A Lie (in no particular order):
1.) I haven't even started my fucking college apps
2.) I exploded
3.) My cat may be on speed


Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1.) penises <- yay!
2.) the cute shoulder raising thing guys do instinctively when they like someone and want to protect thm
3.) height?

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1.) Arting
2.) Baking
3.) wasting time

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1.) win a whole shit load of money?
2.) already be done with the applications
3.) EAT SOME MOTHERFUCKING MOCHI <- yes

Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1.) Art teacher
2.) Interior designer/architect
3.) Wedding/Event planner

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1.) Italy
2.) Japan
3.) Sweden, Greece, France, UK, India, Thailand, Holland, Austria, Czech Republic, etc...

Three Names You Like:
1.) Paige
2.) Charlotte
3.) Elija

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1.) I am very moody
2.) I like pretty things
3.) I have boobs... erm... I smile a lot?

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1.) I laugh at people hurting themselves
2.) I'm a perv
3.) Ummmm....I like it when the opposite sex wears tight pants?

Three People That I Would Like To See Take This Quiz Now:
1.) candycanesmoke
2.) akaina
3.) nekonamida

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15460548/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15460548/ Sun, 11 Nov 2007 08:25:00 PST
In other news. I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO OH MY GOD KILL ME NOW.

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15290419/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15290419/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:09:39 PDT
But that's not the real issue. I have trouble with school. I know this is a bad thing. I have trouble getting to school sometimes. I know this is a bad thing, too. I get it. I suck. It's no new revelation. But I've been trying to get back into the swing of things. I am determined to do this the "right way": graduate this year and get the hell out. Last weekend my mom made it clear to me her opinions on this matter. Mainly that I'm an irresponsible failure who has no way of graduating this year, will never get into college (so why should I even bother applying-- she's "not going to waste [her] money on college applications when [I wouldn't] get in anywhere anyway") and would not even be able to handle community college. She's "not going to put [her] own life on hold for [me] any longer." I'm seventeen. Sorry.

Yesterday I woke up really sick and stressed out because I hadn't finished the work I had meant to do. She refused to let me stay home. I get ready. I have an anxiety attack. So she starts yelling at me. I can't remember what she was saying, but she grabs me by the arm and throws me out the door and yells for me to get the bus (which I'd missed) and says to come back if I miss it. Well I couldn't deal with her screaming at me anymore when I was already freaking out so I called ~candycanesmoke and went to sit in a field near my house. Then my mom found me, grabbed me again and yelled and complained all of the way to school about how easy my life is and how tremendous a burden I am to her. Now she has less than an hour to get ready for work. I know my life is easy. I'm not stupid. I know people have it so much worse than me. That's what makes it worse.

Anyway, she has now declared my anxiety attack a temper tantrum and says that I am irresponsible and incapable of taking care of myself (even though, I seem to remember doing so okay for a month this summer) and so if I'm "going to act like a 4 year old, than [she is] going to treat [me] like a 4 year old." She's proclaimed complete control over my social life. I am her slave, I have to do what ever she tells me when she tells me (including sleep) otherwise, I can't go to college next year.

I've been trying to deal with this kind of thing for a while now. Some of you know how it is, how she is. She yells constantly. About everything. I need to "get over it" and nothing I do is quite right. I put the rugs in the linen closet instead of the little shelves across from it. She exploded. And she doesn't see it either.

I'm thinking about trying to get emancipated. I don't know what else to do. I have a lot of concerns... money, health insurance, how my dad in North Carolina plays into things... what rights I have... I don't know. The more time I spend in this house the more I realize that it's exactly what's destroying me.

I'm sorry this is so agnsty and kinda bitter. I hope it's not too bitter. I'm sick of being bitter, I've decided. I know this is kind of a weird place for such a heavy topic but... I can't talk about it so much. I don't want people to get all "oh my god, poor annie," and crap you can, if you must, but... I don't know... I think I feel like I should be letting more people into my life. I keep a lot to myself and I have trouble asking for help but I'm really shooting in the dark here.

Anyway, thanks everyone for being all nice to me and stuff.

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15092915/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15092915/ Tue, 16 Oct 2007 19:14:25 PDT Get ready for a treat because this is an exclusive interview with __MMMEEEEEE__, a renowned member of __SEXY_ and _GODS___. We have tons of questions, sent in by our readers, to ask and we’ve gotten as much as we could into the interview, so enjoy!


Q: What’s your favorite smell?
A: Subtle fruit and tea smells probably...
Q: What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
AJ
Q: What do you do for fun?
A:Sing, dance around like a fool, draw, read, play video games and go to movies or out to eat with friends...
Q: Something about yourself?
A: I say "Hi" a lot.
Q: What are your favorite art materials to work with?
A: Oil Pastel, Acrylic paint, Oil paint, conte crayon, pencil, charcoal, pastel, paper, canvas, digital, anything I can get my hands on...
Q: What’s your favourite place to be?
A: Aquariums
Q: Least favorite place to be?
A: A crowd
Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: Yesm, fucking golden child of an older sister
Q: That’s all for today! Thanks so much for your time!
A: wooo

I tag

~x-goose-x [link]

~Akaina [link]

~nekonamida [link]

~xL3x [link]

]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15053572/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/15053572/ Sun, 14 Oct 2007 05:32:52 PDT
]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/14386951/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/14386951/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:32:54 PDT
]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/9861504/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/9861504/ Sat, 26 Aug 2006 11:56:18 PDT A - Age: 16
A - Annoyance: Homophobes, racists, idiots... oh no!

B - Best Friends?: Le, Angelas
B - Bar: Not old enough
B - Birthday?: May 19

C - Crush: Jack (a.k.a bus guy)
C - Car: echo! (but their out of production now so it'd have to be used which is all I could ever afford anyway so it's ok)
C - Cat: Tokyo, nervous as fuck

D - Dead Pets Name: Mo the cat
D - Dad's Name: Jeff
D - Dog: Rosevelt & Doc

E - Easiest person to talk to: Le, Angela, Carla
E - Eggs: scrambled and hard-boiled
E - Email: chibiyumeko@yahoo.com

F - Favorite color?: green
F - Food: sushi maki, chocolate, steak, pesto, salmon ceasar salad @ local restaraunt, taco chicken strip things, chips & salsa, cake, stealhead trout, green tea frappachino. sweet rose filling pies, fried rice, peking noodles, tempura, hi-chews, pears, bananas, white peaches, ice cream, lemon curd, fudge, & sourdough and french breads
F - Foreign Slang: FOOTSA! (german for pussy)

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: worms
G - God: none
G - Good Times: 7th grade, 10th grade

H - Hair Color: brown
H - Height: ~5' 2"
H - Happy: yaya!

I - Ice Cream: chocolate, cofee, vanilla bean
I - Instrument: piano
I - Idol: none

J - Jewelry: rings, necklaces
J - Job: I wish.
J - Jokes: gay koreans eat: puhpiiiies~~~ (from gay horses eat...), cracker crumble... stick in the mud (lots of weird inside things that aren't really funny unless you were there when it happened....)

K - Kids: one.... someday far away.... only one.
K - Karate: nope
K - Kung Fu: nope

L - Love: nope
L - Longest Car Ride: ~9 hours cuz of traffic: DC to Southport NC
L - Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick if anything

M - Milk Flavor: chocolate. (hate milk)
M - Mothers Name: Martha
M - Movie Last Watched: Risky Bussiness... & half of Nana

N - Number of Siblings: 1- Katze
N - Northern or Southern: Northern!
N - Name: mwabalababababanara

O - One Wish: skinny
O - One Phobia?: Spiders
O - Otter Pop: Otter pop? You mean, soda made out of otters ore something?

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: divorced
P - Part of your appearence you like best: lips, sometimes boobs...sometimes...eyes
P - Part of your Personality you like best: crazy, creative, comprehensive/analytical

Q - Quick or Slow?: slow
Q - Queer or Straight?: straight... as much as I wish otherwise at times...
Q - Queen or King?: Queen.

R - Reason to smile: friends, flowers, good deeds, success, cute animals, no humidity, autumn leaves, good food, good music, good luck...
R - Reality TV Show: Project Runway!!!
R - Right or Left: Right

S - Song Last Heard: Shaboom Shaboom
S - Season: Fall
S - Series: Family Guy, Project Runway, Mythbusters, Good Eats, Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, & Law & Order

T - Time you woke up: ???
T - Time Now: ~3:00 (my compie clock is wrong)
T - Time for bed: morning

U - Unknown: lots of stuff
U - Unicorns: haha
U - You are?: femme

V - Vegetable you hate: onions, brussle sprounts
V - Vegetable you love: peas, broccoli, fresh spinach, lettuce, red cabbage, artichokes
V - View on Politics: gaaar. kill.

W- Worst Habit: obnoxiosness
W- Where are you going to travel next: no where
W- What's up?: I got my schedule! yay!

X - X-Ray: for back
X - X-Rated: mind
X - XYZ: ABC?

Y - Year you were born: 1990
Y - Year it is now?: 2006
Y - Yellow: simplicity

Z - Zoo Animal: tigers, small monkeys, colorful birds, aquariums: everything, turtles & tortoises, and penguins
Z - Zodiac: Taurus
Z - Zoolander?: Only seen the walkoff ]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/9729203/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/9729203/ Mon, 14 Aug 2006 19:24:09 PDT ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/9249417/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/9249417/ Sun, 02 Jul 2006 09:02:14 PDT ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/8858121/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/8858121/ Tue, 23 May 2006 20:15:05 PDT
I know its not really a big deal, its not like I'm actually dying or anything-- at least as far as anyone can tell. But I'm scared. Its hard for me to admit. For, as much as I sometimes loathe them, I am somewhat like a guy. Emotionally. Stereotipically. Botteling everything up. I always have. I have trust issues. Even those of you who know me best-- much, much better than anyone in my family-- don't really know that much about me at all. That's why therapy was such a crock for me.

Anyway, this year I got a wonderful sweet 16 present from my doctor-- my body is a piece of shit. Mostly not even by my fault.

Firstly I have hypo-thyroid. In other words, I have no metabolism to speak of, therefore no energy, and therefore I gain weight pretty much constantly and it is much, much harder for me to loose it--- Gee well that explains a lot. And, because of this, I have medications. Medications that are constantly changing as my hormones fluxuate, which means I have to have blood tests every few weeks at the doctors office. I have tough veins, so this means sticking a larger needle into my writing hand-- which is the only place they can even hope to find a vein, and fish around until they can stick it.

Secondly, I have polycysitc [sp?] ovaries. Which means my hormones are out of whack which means acne and hair problems but also, again, weight problems, period problems, cholesterol problems, metabloic problems, and a hightened risk of diabetes. It also means that I may have problems having kids. I don't know why that bugs me so much, but it does. I never even wanted to have kids, not of my own. And besides, that's a long ways in the future. Hell, pecking is the farthest I've ever gone. But it bugs me.

Thirdly, I have high bad cholesterol and low good cholesterol-- pretty badly. Partly due to the ovaries but mostly to the fact that the only remotely healthy foods I'm even allowed to eat in my house- be sides straight canned tuna and usually half rotting bags of lettuce (which get old real fast)-- are eggs.

Fourthly, I have an undiagnosable, minor infection somewhere within my body.

Finally, I have high insillin [sp?] (it's late) levels which are further exhausting me and means that rather than properly processing my carbs, they're being locked away and not only am I not getting energy that way, I am also, again, gaining even more weight. Furthermore, I have no freaking idea why I have high insillin levels in the first place since my ovary and thyroid problems would only likely produce the reaction of too-low insillin.

All of this, I learned the day before I turned 16. Worst of all is, though I'm trying to hide it from most people and make it seem like its not a big deal because, it really isn't when you think about it. I mean, the good part of me wants to be all, look how lucky I am that I don't have cancer or AIDS or diabetes. But the selfish bit wants to just tear my body to shreds and find one that isn't such crap.

My family doesn't seem to care. My mom did when the doctor was telling us, but not since. My sister never did, but she's the picture of health. God, I'm trying here, you know. It just seems like every attempt I've ever made to try to help myself has just been completely shot down by my mom. Or our stupid "Katherine the perfect child is going to college so we can't make room for the fact that Annie has some even potentially deadly health problems" budget. God forbid she buy an apple. The past few years, all its been was, "Annie's so lazy, so unfocused, she sleeps too much, she's weak (my mom would say), she's a wimp and a liar saying she feels sick all the time."You think there'd be like a sorry or something. I wasn't lying. I have more health problems than most people over twice my age do. My docotor said that I pretty much constantly feel like crap. And I do. I'm just getting used to it I suppose. So you think there would be something. But if anything I feel like there's more pressure put on me the last few days. I'm on a bunch of drugs now, the doses are experamental, I have standardized tests for the love of God. And my sister has prom and graduation and concerts to worry about so of course, as always, I'm the one forgotten. Even at my birthday dinner. Not a word. Iwas barely allowed to talk about anything I wanted to talk about all night. Because Mom's too tired of hearing about college stuff. And heavens forbid we talk aboutthe elephant in the room. Which isn;t even really in the room, since it seems to have been forgotten. Except for my Mom's comments about my weight. I'm sorry but parents aren't supposed to do that to their kids, right? Maybe thats why I'm so fucked up.

Anyway, that's that. I'm just sick of it all. All of the shit. I hate feeling so unimportant like I do. ]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/8623819/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/8623819/ Sat, 29 Apr 2006 17:58:40 PDT but im doing it anyway because I am sick and bored. WIERD THINGS ABOUT ME=

1.When I talk on the phone I loose control of my body and become ubber-Klutz
2. I cannot type-- at all-- and no amount of software has ever been able to help that---- because of this... I loathe IM
3. When I am VERY bored, I like to watch HGTV
4. Even in all of my liberalness and non-religiousness I hate the test tube baby- thing
5. I used to like Charmed
6. I gag when I eat even the tiniest bit of onion

And because no one tagged me I'm changing the rules and adding a 7th:

7. I cannot have vegtables of any kind on a sandwich-- it's like a tick ]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7805876/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7805876/ Sun, 05 Feb 2006 05:22:34 PST "What?"
"The Gestapo are the secret police..." I said figuring he'd get it, but no...
"Oh right the Russians..."
to which le said "Nate shut up"
"The nazis..."

SO MY LOVELY JEWISH FRIEND ASKED FOR A MEMBER OF THE NAZI SECRET POLICE FOR CHRISTMAS. WITHOUT REALIZING IT. FOR CHRISTMAS. SMART. ]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7501811/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7501811/ Tue, 03 Jan 2006 18:11:01 PST ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7187825/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7187825/ Wed, 30 Nov 2005 17:20:05 PST Spanish should die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die!
Let's see... how much sleep have I gotten so far this week...oh, that's right nine fucking hours! That's three hours a night! Woot! And now let's see... how did I do on my darling, wonderful, counts for 10% of my grade Spanish test? I dunno... best guess probably lies around about a 40. At least my oral went a little better.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggg.
On top of this all, my stress and medications are giving me fucking pimples. I mean, come on! You've got to be fucking kidding me! And I'm poor. And I had to spend the weekend with dad and his bitch of a wife which is enough to ruin my following week alone, but no, finals, pimples, and no sleep, too!

AND I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN RENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the bright side I'm now in better touch with Em, my lovely UT baby, again.

Okay... now back to the not-bright-side:

I'm gaining weight. WHAT THE HELL?! I ALWAYS LOOSE WEIGHT DURING THE WINTER! ALWAYS! Of course, I AM sitting here with my dinner of left over tortillas from Chili's and a thing of Nutella I'm eating from with a spoon. But its all I've eaten today. I only had breakfast yesterday, and the day before only lunch. I haven't been eating much for the last couple of weeks so I ask again, WHAT THE HELL? I found that if I lean back far enough I get this fat bubble between my waist and the top of my expanding ass. Probably not a good sign.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggg.

I feel so fucking teenage right now. ]]> ~yumeusa http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7146892/ http://yumeusa.deviantart.com/journal/7146892/ Sat, 26 Nov 2005 06:38:54 PST 2. I change into PJs the second I get home
3. My ADD meds make me anti-social
4. Bush sucks ass
5. I sincerely hate my dad
6. I want to be an art techer
7. I lie a lot about stupid things and don't even realize what I'm saying
8. I've become a master of bottling up everything and just faking it
9. I rant a lot
10. I think the atkins diet is the most unbelievably moronic idea ever
11. Onions make me gag
12. I really really hate microwaves
13. I can't make microwave popcorn
14. I love the play Rent
15. I don't understand vegetarians
16. I've never tried any drugs or alcohol and am proud of it
17. I still don't see how people are so amazingly stupid
18. I hate my period, it sucks an incredible amount
19. I love pugs
20. I like reading fnafics even though I don't really like anime that much ]]> ~yumeusa