Of course, this makes her think I don't care. It's not that I don't care; I just care too much. I can't even rationalize what's happening around me anymore. I don't react anymore. I can't. I'm a walking corpse.

The honeymoon period at my job is over. That place is just fucked. Management couldn't catch a clue if they had Ramirez on their team. I'm tired of being blamed for mistakes which are not mine. I am ALWAYS accountable for my screw-ups. If I make a mistake, I'm the first one to march up to my boss, and let him know the mistake I made, and the steps that I plan on taking to prevent it from happening again. Yet the management blames me and my crew for their mistakes, and I can't seem to do a damn thing to clear my name. They don't pay me enough to be accountable for other people's shit.

In other news; I have 2 complete pieces, and a third which just needs to be shaded. I have at least another 30 to do. It wouldn't be hard if I could conceive a worthwhile future, but I can't, so I'm not even remotely motivated to finish things at the moment.

It's funny how growing up, I never knew what I wanted. I had NO clue what my future would be. Then when I turned 18 I suddenly knew what I wanted and who I wanted it with. Nothing had ever been so clear, or perfect to me. Then it all faded away. Without the who, the what doesn't matter. Success and dreams are nothing, if you don't have someone to share them with.

Here I was thinking 2007 was going to be a better year than it's predecessors. I guess it was a sophomoric ideal at best.