deviantART: Newest Kid And Horse Contests

Stuffed Love Animatic

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 22:54:35 PST

An animation I wasn't able to finish in time for the "Train your brain" contest...Still trying to finish it now but submitting this just in case..edit more later

EDIT:
Welp, this was going to be a nice well put together fully colordanimation with music by me and everything but...I got the dates mixed up on when this would end so...that left me with two more days worth of work last night when I noticed...

Heres the story you now probably won't be able to follow...:
A stuffed horse falls in love with his owners friend's female horse plush. They share a kiss and he thinks about her everyday for 8 years after the fact, until one day he decides he needs to go see her. So he sneaks out and heads towards where her house use to be, only to get get hit by a car. Upon waking up he's face to face with the love of his life, who watched him get run over from her window. And there they share a kiss.

The original story, which I had to cut to finish on time, involved the owners being reuninted when they find the two plushes on the street after the horse plush is hit by the car. They then fell in love since neither of them had forgotten about the other, just as the plushes. In the credits, they would have been seen giving their plushes to their kids.

I don't expect to win with this anymore...but I could really use those clases...and a trip to my favorite animation studio would be amazing as well..

Notes:
This is the longest animation I've ever done, and also the first animation I've done that involved trying everything completely new. Never did any of this before, taught myself. it was hard. Tired..sleep now.XD

Characters belong to me

Merrell Diorama Fall Contest

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 23:55:05 PDT

Just wanted to include a bit longer description

Trying to finish this project on a student budget was a bit challenging but somehow I managed Most of the diorama is made out of paper mache the horse, trees, all the hills etc. The figure and some of the branches, grass, the saddle, rocks, and the road, details on the horse (mane and tail), made of clay (air-drying, no idea if polymer or not ). For the rest I was using anything I could find. Harness for example is made out of my old shoes I fortunately was just going to throw away The background painted with watercolours, figures with a mixture of watercolours and oils.

The memory I wanted to share with you was of the days when during the fall I would go horse riding, and I remember the soft yellowish light coming through the leaves. We even have a saying in Poland, golden Polish fall, and studying now in Scotland I appreciated this opportunity to bring some of these colours, and sun back into my life I wanted to play with the illusion of space, thus the bridge is partly 3-dimensional, and partly painted, the same thing with the road, and some of the trees.

Anyway it was lots of fun, and work, and loooots of time. Mosty because Ive never done any sculpting in my life before (only some plasticine when I was a kid), so this was quite a challenge, but I learned a lot and will definitely try out sculpting more in the future All in all its the first contest I actually thought about entering, and managed to do so, so whatever happens now it was certainly worth it.

Also I'm sorry for the bad quality of the photos, I hate my camera xd

Carousel of Time

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 17:34:33 PST

I spent between 3 and 4 hours painting this today. I spent about 2-3 weeks working on this, and I am FINISHED! I am so happy!

This is my 8th Concentration piece, titled Carousel of Time. My family was getting really tired of the moodiness that was plaguing the rest of my works, so I found the Steampunkism contest and decided to try something different. This piece symbolizes that even as time goes on, I can still be a kid at heart and enjoy life. Thus, there is a more cheerful spirit in this piece, compared to the other pieces in my concentration so far. I don't think the next piece will be as light-hearted.

Here is news of the Steampunkism contest, hosted by . [link] I am just SO happy I finished my painting before November 20! I was really worried that I would not make it. I just hope that there are enough steampunk and impressionist elements in this piece.

Steampunk Elements (May not include all)
Toy Carousel
Clock Tower
Clock and Clockwork gears on horse
Brooch on girl's dress
Girl's bracelet

Impressionist Elements (May not include all)
Clock tower
Toy carousel horses
Horse's mane
Clock and clockwork gears on horse
Girl's hair (especially bangs)
Girl's striped skirt
Horse in general
Pole that the girl is holding
Chain

Traditional Category Entries: [link]

WIP's of this piece can be viewed on my blog: [link]

8th Evil Ex: Omega Brain

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 22:30:09 PDT

'Mega was dropped on his head(repeatedly) as a child. Seeing as he had no skull to absorb the impact, major problems were bound to develop from this unfortunate occurrence.

He owns a pair of state of the art rocket sandals, but crashes into things because he doesn't know how to control them yet. The statement "Moo, I'm a horse!" isn't a confusing euphemism, he actually believes that Mr. Ed is his third cousin, and that all four legged animals sound like cows. He has unbelievable punching power, and his lucky boxers haven't been washed in 8 years(draws power from his own funk? Perhaps).

Also, he loves Groucho Marx, but has the comedic timing of a fermenting pumpkin.

Ladies love spontaneity, so he is undoubtedly an accidental chick magnet. That Pilgrim kid doesn't stand a chance.

I remember seeing it

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 09:02:42 PDT

ohhh yeahh!!! HONORABLE MENTIONS!! yay! 3 month subbie XD thank you devaintart XD

They exist!, i mean, you have 155 wonderful entries to prove it.

I don't really think i can win in this one because there are awesome pictures in that contest TAT, o well, i tried.. All thats left for me to do is to just believe in magic and the queen of unicorn will do something special, weather it be to you or me~_{( the last part didnt make any sense...)}
-------_{Contest entry for unicorns and magic, one of the 10 commandments.

To me, magic involves childhood memories. And so one thing i added in there was children's stories. Of course, i still love it. the beanstalk is from jack and the beanstalk. The boot is from the nursery rhyme: the old lady who lived in a boot.the 2 kids on the hill: jack and jill. I was going to put hey diddle diddle up, but then i couldn't go on lol.. maybe later in the future.

First of all, I procrastinated a lot.. a lot of this is last minute stuff..., but anyways, i enjoyed drawing this. It was my first time trying without lines, and i thought i did pretty good.. cept it was a little hard but easy at the same time.
Im never drawing a bean stalk, a horse, and that big shoe again.. Too much work.

Overall, this was fun to do.. Yeah... now im pooped out and i wanna go to sleep... zzZZzzz

oh yea, wish me luck in the contest and dont forget to comment and fave XD and critique too..}

In My Head

Fri, 06 Aug 2010 13:42:30 PDT

For DA's James and the Giant Peach Contest. I realized I haven't updated since the last contest I entered, which seems odd to me- I have been workin on stuff, I've just become overly critical of myself...

From left to right: JD and Turk from Srubs, House and Wilson from House MD, Death the Kid and Soul of Soul Eater (Soul's workin my brain music lol), random kitties, the horse with a sword that guards my hopes and dreams (copyright Scrubs), Darnell, Randy, and Earl from My Name Is Earl, Yuugi of Yu-Gi-Oh!, an orca, and Toushiro and Ichigo of Bleach.

I own no fandoms, I just love playing with them. ^^

The Beat Down Under The Waves

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:37:02 PDT

Download it, plz!!

The reason for my SONYTRiK design, is, well, I did the whole thing listening to songs. And I noticed a lot of them were about love lost, and the pain of losing love. And, so, as I was doing the design, it was originally going to be just a bunch of random things that I felt represented musics and tastes, but then I thought to myself, 'This one wouldn't even get favorited if I do it like this. It's so bland and all over the place....Ugh! I mean, I'd buy this, but no one else would. I need a theme...' And then, BAM! It hit me, because the bubbles reminded me of underwater, and then the accidental gradient background was like deep-sea. So, I thought a bit, and liked the idea of having an ocean-themed boombox design (XP) and then I needed someone singing on it. Well, what sings in the ocean...?! Well, besides whales, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted a humanoid person. So I chose a mermaid. As I was drawing her, it hit me that, not only was this the perfect choice, but what better person knows about the pain of love, and losing it time and time again than a mermaid? So I picked my theme, and spread it out.
If you're wondering what the words are all about, I figured that if you have a boombox, it's gotta have a couple words on it...XD So, Turn it Up was inspired by the fact that I seem to never have my music players up loud enough. The written words that are all wiggley on the yellow lines on the opposite side of Turn it Up, are sort-of lyrics from a Grease song, and nobody wants to part with their awesome boombox. So...it was perfect, in my opinion. And the last words, near the iPod dock port, were just spur of the moment kind of deal, and originally said 'It's All about the Sound.' But it was uneven when I put it into the arch, and my OCD was, like, NOOOO. So I had to think of something else to go there that would fit. Took me about ten minutes to decide on that slogan. I like it.
And lastly, the part I like third best and I think represents music the absolute best way I could think of, was the heartbeat monitor line in the middle, on the stretch of black. It represents the beat of the music, and how it flows through all of us, just like our own heartbeats (and, uh, blood, but again, not the point). I think this has been my absolute favorite contest to do ever since I joined dA, but, hey, I've only been here for a year, and, well, there's probably going to be way better contests.
All in all, I think I really improved in my style, and my thoughts really came out more clearly, and I think the expression I caught on the Mermaid's face, was practically perfect. (And yes, I know it's theroetically impossible to cry underwater, but whatever. Just deal with it.)
Enjoy! And if anyone would like to evaluate it in a comment, I'm totally fine with that. XD *can't afford an upgrade/critique*

Also, my list of songs that I listened to while completing this monstrosity. I provide no links. Sorry. If you don't know the song, look it up. All the bands are listed.
And yes, I listened to all of these without skipping any, and listening to them the whole way through. That is indeed how long it took me to complete this. I'm proud of myself for not geting bored half-way through and abandoning it.

Trigger Happy Jack-Poe
Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny-Lemon Demon
Off To See The Lizard-W.O. Music Kids/Jimmy Buffet
The Transplant Song-Da Yoopers
Guy Love-Scrubs
The Saltwater Room-Owl City
Dizzy!-Bob The Builder
Angie!-Cobra Starship
Ice Cream-Sarah M
Eyes On Fire-Twilight Soundtrack
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life-Monty Python
Popular-Wicked Cast
Ain't She Sweet-Beatles
Rockstar-Nickelback
Caramelldansen-Caramelldansen
Electric Zoo-Spongebob Squarepants
I Believe-Spring Awakening Cast
Secret-Maroon 5
My Moves Are White (White Hot, That Is)-Cobra Starship
Calculation Theme-Metric
Evil Woman-ELO
We Will Rock You-Queen
Try And Love Again-Eagles
Crazy Little Thing Called Love-Queen
The City Is At War-Cobra Starship
Defying Gravity-Wicked Cast
1001 Nights-NiteFall
Dirt Room-Blue October
We Go Together-Grease Cast
Dude Looks Like a Lady-Aerosmith
Stage-Live
All You Need Is Friends-Spongebob Squarepants
Dirty White Boy-Foreigner
Crank That (Soulja Boy)-Soulja Boy (I<3 Kettle Drum wannabes...XD)
Octopus's Garden-Beatles
You Belong To Me-Doobie Brothers
Dracula's Wedding-Outkast
Hello Goodbye-Beatles
She's Alive-Outkast
Wheels On The Bus-Music For Little People
Fight Fire With Fire-Metallica
Beer Run-Da Yoopers
Chicquito War-Da Yoopers
Pass The Biscuits, Mirandy-Spike Jones and His City Slickers
A Spoonful of Sugar-Mary Poppins
I Like To Move It-Reel 2 Real
I'm Afraid of American's-David Bowie
Guilty Pleasure-Cobra Starship
Hot Air Balloon-Owl City
Totally F*****-Spring Awakening Cast
Bring Me Down-Lenka
Deutschland (Radio Mix)-Die Prinzen
Water Buffalo Song-Silly Songs With Larry
Please Don't Play Your Violin At Night-Richard Perlmutter
Mad Russian's Christmas (Instrumental)-Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Opening Suite-Halo
Vanilla Twilight-Owl City
Play The Game-Queen
Tainted Love-Soft Cell
Keeping up With The Joneses-The Medic Droid
Traveling Band-CCR
Back In Black-AC/DC
Rip Out The Wings of A Butterfly-H.I.M.
The Bird and The Worm-Owl City
Silly Song Remix Medley-Silly Songs With Larry
Time Warp-RHPS
Roam-B52's
Cedars of Lebanon-U2
Silicon World-Eiffel 65
Don't Tread On Me-Metallica
How Do You Do It-Beatles
Fearless-Pink Floyd
The Thunderer-Scottville Clown Band
Gives You H***-The All-American Rejects
The Dogs of War-Pink Floyd
Bicycle Races-Queen
Under Pressure-Queen and David Bowie
Iso Sika-Da Yoopers
Alvin For President-Alvin and the Chipmunks
The Chicken Dance-Scottville Clown Band
#41 (Live)-Dave Matthews Band
Behind Those Swinging Doors-Spike Jones and His City Slickers
Those You've known-Spring Awakening Cast
All ALong The Watchtower (Live)-Dave Matthews Band
Give Me Just A Little More Time-Finest Kind
Toxic-Local H
Pretty Handsome Awkward-Crap I Can't Remember...!!
Somebody to Love-Queen
I Wish I Had A Horse-Alvin And The Chipmunks
Runaway-Linkin Park
Suck My Kiss-Red Hot Chili Peppers
Makes Me Wonder-Maroon 5
You've lost That Lovin' Feeling-Dionne Warwick
Taxman-Beatles
Tin Man-Animal Kingdom
Topaz-B52's
Ducktales-Duck Tales
Can You Can Can?-Richard Perlmutter
Heartbreak Hotel-Scottville Clown Band
Happy Tappin' With Elmo-Clifford Kevin Clash/Sesame Street
Too Much of Heaven-Eiffel 65
You Might Die Trying-Dave Matthews Band
Superhero Girl-Eve 6
Who Needs Sleep?-Barenaked Ladies
The Origin of Love-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Call Me When You're Sober-Evanescence
D*** You Look Good And I'm Drunk (Scandalous)-Cobra Starship

(That's a lot...O_O)
((And yes, my iPod was on shuffle))

Contest Entry

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 15:00:20 PDT

ok, here's mi contest entry for the james and the giant peach contest, and yes, that rly is the world i escape to on a daily bases. the real world's too boring. well, this took about over 4-5 hrs.
Songs listened to durning this
If today was your last day-Nickelback
Inside the Fire-Disturbed
Don't Stay-Linkin Park
Always-Saliva
Excuse me Mr. No Doubt
Welcome to the Black Parade-My Chemical Romance
Family Protrait-Pink
Leave out all the rest-Linkin Park
Remember-Disturbed
Be Sombody-3 Doors Down
I gotta feeling-Black Eyed Peas
Fireflies-Owl City
Long way to go- Gwen Stefani
Let me go-3 Doors Down
Imma be-Black Eyed Peas
Stricken-Disturebed
Without love-Bon Jovi
Have a nice day-Bon Joiv
Speechless-Lady Gaga
Because of you-Kelly Clarkson
The fame-Lady Gaga
Impossible-Kelly Clarkson
27-Fall Out Boy
East jesus nowhere-Green Day
Telephone-Lady Gagy
Ave maria-Beyonce
Only god knows why-Kid Rock
Ten thousand fist-Disturbed
I don't believe you-Pink
Deceiver-Disturbed
Bad influence-Pink
Hello-Beyonce
My life would suck without you-Kelly Clarkson
Please don't leave me-Pink
Out of my head-Black Eyed Peas
Never say goodbye-Bon Jovi
In the end-Linkin Park
Breaking inside-Shinedown

Memory of the Trees

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 15:52:34 PST

[[This boat means alot to me and my sisters. We used to play on it every single day when we were little. We've been playing on it for some 10+ years.
This is our secret hide-out. Our home away from home. To us, this is our special place.
During the summer of 2009, the property owners decided to tear up the area around the boat and, eventually, remove the boat for good. We were heartbroken. We couldnt bear to have them take away our secret place. Our gateway to our imagination.
We wrote a frantic note, begging to them not to take it away, and left it on the boat. They moved the boat alright, but only a couple feet away then left it alone.
You couldn't imagine the relief we felt.

For the time being, the boat stays there, day by day, looking old and a bit forelorn. But, almost every day, my sisters and I venture to the boat once again and let our imaginations take over. For now, we are little kids again. The boat will always be a secret place for me and my sisters.]]

Enjoy!

-Comments, Favorites and Watches are Appreciated!

~If you favorite this Art, please comment before-hand.

*Entered in the "Place of Peace" contest here!: [link]

First Place in the Place of Peace contest!
Wow! I'm in awe. Thank you so much everyone!

F.e.a.t.u.r.e.d:
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]
[link] [link]

Copyrighted.
All rights reserved.
My photo's may not be reproduced in any form without my permission.

Dreaming to be Free

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:15:21 PST

Did this for my art project. We were asked to create a dream/heaven like world. This is mine. The little symbolizes youth and bewilderment. Horse and the bubbles symbolize freedom (don't really like the horse so I may redo that portion later on; am not sure yet). The daytime moon in the background symbolizes my fascination with astronomy and the unknown.

Edit: Made the moon bigger, got rid of the horse (I didn't think it contributed at all), fixed the bubble (buh-bye Batman!), and made the image much bigger.

Put Your Feet Up

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:26:53 PDT

This was done as a project for one of my studio classes. I'm not going to say much on it because I want you to get the full impact as you look at this one. Needless to say my teacher and classe found it to be very funny.

I'm going to submit this as an entry for the Dream contest. Why you may ask, well the answer is simple. It's just about every little kids dream to have a little pony sitting with them watching tv, or at least the pony part. Enjoy.

I kicked my own ass

Mon, 18 May 2009 01:49:18 PDT

Ok, so I figured I would enter in the so called *kicked my own ass( contest, just coz of the name of the contest LOL. Nah but all kidding aside, this piece I chose is about 3 years old and i did a sort of quickie redo on it 3 years later, I think you can tell a ton of improvements... time does give you more skill, if you're willing to put the effort forth...

Anyways:
Poser 7LE
Photoshop CS2
Wacom Tablet 6X11
IMagintion and Lotsa Time

Credits: Mil Horse, CWRW

Full View New Version Here: [link]

Old Version is here: [link]

:thumb113758566:

Group 1 = All Digital Paintings, Drawings, Pixel Art, 3-Dimensional, Vectors, and Vexel images

Nadine

Animal Carousel

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 05:56:59 PST

A Finnish tabloid had a contest titled "Paras pipari" (best gingerbread) and when I saw it I knew I would have to participate. Perhaps not such a good idea when you have CFS and struggle to take care of yourself. The other parts weren't that straining, but rolling the dough is very exhausting. And decorating wasn't so easy with the problems I have with coordination and motoric skills. Making the piece took about three weeks and cleaning up afterwards will probably take two more weeks. A few times I got way overexhausted and had to spend a lot of time resting in bed afterwards. The piece is also participating in DA's Gingerbread House contest.

Some random facts about the piece:

The carousel is designed by me and my SO planned the actual realization and did the necessary calculations.

There were about 1.75 kg of gingerbread dough and 700g of confectioner's sugar used in this piece, the amount of candy and cake decorations used can't really be measured, most of the candy I bought wasn't used in the end.

The diameter of the circle at the bottom is 28 cm.

The piece is put together with melted ordinary sugar like we tend to do in Finland. It can leave nasty trails of brown sugar, but it dries very quickly and holds together much better than royal icing.

The carousel includes six animals: an elephant, a camel, a leopard, a giraffe, a horse and a zebra. The last two are made with the same pattern. All of them were drawn by me.

There are little silver cake decoration spheres on the vertical seams of the cylinder to mimic the lightbulbs of the carousel we have at the Linnanmäki amusement park here in Helsinki.

The cake decoration stars at the top stick there because the ceiling has been brushed with a watered down version of the icing.

The little rectangles surrounding the bottom aren't bubble gum but candy.

In the end I donated the piece to the psychiatric unit of Lastenlinna, a children's hospital here in Helsinki. The leopard broke a leg on the way (I had the piece in my lap in a huge plastic bag, but other than that it was still fine when it got there. I hope the kids like it.

I can probably upload the pictures you can use to build a similar carousel, but it will take some time as they exist only in paper at the moment (and hopefully I haven't lost any of them).

Bacon Egg And Fries And Stuff

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 07:39:51 PST

The important thing was the Capsella. I had a whole fucking suitcase of the crazy shit, eleven hundred dollars worth of primo plastic gizmoes all primed and ready to go batshit upon assembly, truly a marvel of our modern world. Especially the submarine bits. I marvelled at the amphibious capabilities of that funky shit.

I'm not particularly sure why I've gotten so deeply involved in Capsella but I can assure you my very good friends that it's a veritable goldmine. It's more than a goldmine, it's the Philosophers' Stone of the 21st century. The lab monkeys have yet to decipher the raw animal cunning of the Capsella mystery, have yet to unleash it's true Thermodynamics-buggering potential. Those poor misguided saps, it's right under their noses and they've yet to figure it out. But then they don't think like Capsella, they haven't been taught the knack. They can't stalk it quietly across the savanah or gain it's trust by the foggy banks of the Volta in a plantation in Burkina Faso, the country of honest men and disturbing backstory-establishing flashbacks. No the wily Capsella finds it only too easy to mislead your common or garden variety MIT graduate, a fact I know only too well. Jimmy was a good kid, and he'll be sorely missed by the scientific community.

But wait, maybe they COULD see if I put it right under their noses. Or failing that, I could put paint thinners under their noses, they'd see it then for sure. But no, that would be wrong, and I choose not to mention this to the man at the ticket barrier when I get off the train. He'd only want to play with my Capsella, and who knows what strange shenanigans he'd get up to. No, we'll let sleeping dogs lie. Jimmy Ticket-Man is doing a bang-up top notch job and it would be a disservice to this fine city's department of transportation to distract him for even a moment from his vital task. There are college students with concession tickets who can't prove that they're college students, and Jimmy Ticketman must be ever alert to thwart this insidious menace.

It occurs to me that Jimmy Ticketman is looking at me in a forward manner. Am I too tall for this town? Too short? Does he fear for his wife and daughter? And if so, why is his wife his daughter? I mean that's just wrong. But perhaps that's why he's staring at me to begin with. He knows that I know, that Ive penetrated the inner sanctum of this man's sordid and disgusting family and now he waits with bated breath. I decide to tell him hey, it's no big deal, we've all been there and really enjoyed it. "Nice day today" I say, and Im sure he understands the subtle subtext, the vital unspoken volumes. My train ticket is flourished just so in my fingers, a precise movement that symbolises deep and meaningful things in the secret hand-language of men who marry their daughters. I've always made a point of being able to talk to the natives, and a colleague of mine in linguistics spent years cracking this one.

"Sure is." That tone, that inflection, the subtle nod of his head, it means he's accepted me as one of his own. My cunning ruse has worked and I know now that I have bonded with this man on a tribal level. According to the customs of his people I am now a trusted friend. But no, I won't press this advantage. Time is scarce, and big things must be done. It is absolutely imperative that I get this Capsella to the right people.

For some reason, Im in a greasy spoon now. Where did the train station go? Its probably not important. Train stations are rarely important to anyone, so Im not too worried about where it went. Itll show up sooner or later, sporting a hangover and reeking of cheap perfume. The lady flipping burgers seems bored with her mundane existence, so I attempt to describe in graphic detail my suspicions about the train station. I tell her about the late nights, the seedy bordellos, the raging brake fluid habit. I even and it shames me deeply to admit this confide in her about the creeping, insidious development of my torrid romance with the station. From memory, the conversation goes something along the lines of:

ME: Can I get some bacon and eggs and fries and stuff? And maybe a coke.
HER: Sure thing, thatll be $3.20
ME: Cool.

After I hand over the money (plus a generous 32 cent tip, because daddy taught me to always tip a minimum of 10% in all the good restaraunts), she gives me a knowing look. Maybe she thinks I tipped too much, or not enough. I dont know, Im not good with that sort of thing. But what I do know is that she, like Jimmy Ticketman, understands. Ive connected subverbally. The casual observer, one who has yet to grasp the infinitely regressing space within themselves, would no doubt have only witnessed a very brief conversation about bacon and eggs. For their benefit, I shall provide a fuller transcript:

ME: The train station disappeared.
HER: This is ill news indeed oh noble scientist. Accounts Receivable will be most dissapointed.
ME: I know. But fear, not I have a theory, a cunning and masterful theory that will save us both. Can I have some bacon and eggs and fries and stuff?
HER: Excellent! When I first saw you wading in the shallows of the Volta, I knew you were the prophesied one.
ME: Im beginning to understand things now toots. You are the Nubian Princess, my guide in these things.
HER: Yes. I am the key. My mothers mothers mother learned which questions to ask and how to ask them, and the Capsella gave her the answers.
ME: And maybe a coke. Its all coming together. When I travelled in Burkina Faso, the women who filled clay pots by the river wouldnt speak to me. It was a frustrating experience. But I think Ive worked it out now. You are the Nubian Princess after all, and here I am.
HER: Yes, but there is a heavy price to pay. As a guide, my services may be more than you are willing to pay.
ME: A minor technicality. The train station has disappeared, the wily Capsella roams free on the plains without revealing its secrets to me, and Ive just spent the last half hour of my train ride huffing acetone from a small glass jar I keep in my back pocket. No price is too high to pay now.
HER: Sure thing, thatll be $3.20
ME: Dont toy with me like that. I know the Nubian Princess, and theres a bigger price than that. Youve swam naked with the crocodiles of the Volta, youve walked the length and breadth of the country of honest men. Three dollars and change can mean life or death in some places Ive travelled in the quiet hours before dawn, when the shadows start to stab my eyes and the horse tranquilizers wear off, but its nothing to you. Why youd barely be able to buy a plate of bacon and eggs for that money.
HER: I know. The money is for the meal, that there will be no debt between us. My price as a guide is that you must know me as the crocodiles of the Volta have known me. I shall conquer you on a muddy river bank, and your cold reptile anger will be nothing to me but the plaything of a debauched moment.
ME: Cool. Especially since youve got nice tits.
HER: Good. You have walked the Volta as a man. Tonight you will crawl and bite and claw in it as a crocodile.
ME: But where? I dont have enough pills to travel to Burkina Faso by this evening.
HER: Youll find a way. Youre a resourceful man. And besides, you want to find the train station.

Of course, few people would have picked up on the esoteric peaks to which our conversation had soared, but I knew the signs. Even without the briefcase full of Capsella, or the nostrils filled with acetone fumes, I could feel the regal power of this luscious Nubian princess. She was obviously the one who would guide me. She would teach me the questions, show me how her mother and her mothers mother and her mothers mothers mother had first trapped and tamed the Capsella on the far sun-baked plains of the Country of Honest Men. But I would need my strength. Her method of teaching was thorough, complete, and likely to get messy. I mean what the fuck did I know about being a crocodile? Not very much, but I could tell it would be exhausting work. Which is why I chose bacon of all things. No sane man in my position would eat pig, not considering the possible repercussions. But I was no sane man. I dont know exactly where and I dont know exactly when, but Id put all of that behind me. Still, bacon was a risky gambit. Pigs are dangerous, savage things, full of dangerous facts that we werent meant to know. But considering what was at stake, I knew Id have to find out. Especially since they taste good with ketchup.

Now that Ive finished the bacon, I have to move fast. No time to say farewell to the Nubian Princess, she knows the risks Im taking.